Some people have a gift for using language to lighten our
loads and brighten our days. Mark Twain had it; George
Burns had it. Over the years, I've collected thousands of
quotes and here are a few that I count on to make me smile.
'Don't be humble. You're not that great.'
--- Golda Meir
'Few things are harder to put up with than
the annoyance of a good example.'
--- Mark Twain
'I envy people who drink. At least they know
what to blame everything on.'
--- Oscar Levant
''The secret to staying young is to live honestly,
eat slowly, and lie about your age.'
--- Lucille Ball
'Old age is like everything else, to make
a success of it you got to start young.'
--- Fred Astaire
'You know your children are growing up when
they stop asking where they came from and
refuse to tell you where they're going.'
--- P. O'Brien
'You know who must be very secure in their
masculinity? Male ladybugs.'
--- Jay Leno
'I want to know why, if men rule the world,
they don't stop wearing neckties.'
--- Linda Ellerbee'
'I'd like to live like a poor man,
only with lots of money.'
--- Pablo Picasso
'I hate housework! You make the beds,
you do the dishes - and six months later
you have to start all over again.'
--- Joan Rivers
Philip Humbert